Gift-giving Ponderer Gifts

MYRRH: The first re-gifting

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Ball as water-melon.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Santa's Helpers

"Roadkill cookies"

Tipping Pain Chart

"Pass that."

Regifts of the Magi

International House of Excrement

"What seems to be the problem?"

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Fish mobsters.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

How the gift registry should really work

"If they don’t have Pringles, get low-sodium Doritos."

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

The Salivation army.

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'