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'I have here a virus so deadly it could destroy the world...Oh, darn that cat!'

"He's great at keeping our litter box clean. I just wish he would do the same with his computer."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

The wife whisperer.

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

Christmas Presents.

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

Santa called but you were out!

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

CEO.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Tipping Pain Chart