Friend (joking Gift) T-Shirts

'It was a get-rich-quick scheme. He got Rich and left quick.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

'I have here a virus so deadly it could destroy the world...Oh, darn that cat!'

Solitaire card shark.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

Bagel problems.

'Great! You mean it's obedience school prom season already!'

A parrot business meeting

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

Robinia Floribunda

'This milk smells funny.'

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

'You've been smarting off a lot lately -- Have you been fooling around with that 'Tree of Knowledge'?'

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

Helicopter as a clothes drier

'You've been looking a little scrawny lately.... Hey!— You're not missing another rib, are you?'

"'Sideboard'? I thought it said 'sideboob'."

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'

'We use dialup since it gives us more time to meditate.'

"He's great at keeping our litter box clean. I just wish he would do the same with his computer."

"I have this 'I love Susie' tattoo on my chest and I married Doreen yesterday!"