Gift Certificate Guru Pillows

'If you're thinking of getting me any of those gifts...'

Beach con-man.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Santa called but you were out!

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Valentines Day truck

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

Honey badger do care.

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

'What can you suggest for a young lady who thinks she has everything?'

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

Dentist reading 'Dentistry for Dummies'.

"Just tell us what wedding gifts you want and we stuff the appropriate advertising flyers in with the invitation."

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'