Gift Breaker Pillows

'have you broken all of your Christmas presents yet?'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Let's not go by the book.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'No ice.'

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'Read that last part back to me.'

'Rules are there to be broken, my friend.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

Pole Vault Rules

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

'I'm sure it's a violation, but I can't find it in the rule book.'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

No juggling allowed.

Hey, what happened to the rule about running in the house?