Ghostly Gourmand T-Shirts

'Of course I'm back. You didn't think I'd be that easy to get rid of did you?'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"It's fondue night!"

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Dijon Vu

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Capturing a Cook

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"I'd like seconds!"

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

'Oh please uncle Jim! Tell us another creepy story of the living!'

'It's just Frank's ghost returning for a bottle of wine. It doesn't tend to keep well, where he ended up.'

God Cooks Up Evolution

Endangered Entrees

"Cemetery Pie"

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

"Unitarian. You?"

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

'Enjoy? Don't tell me what to do.'

"If you'll excuse me, my adventurous palate is at constant war with my delicate ecosystem of gut bacteria."

"Do you have a lean cuisine, waiter?"