Getting Dumped Pillows

'I'd like to sample your house wine...Hmm, do you have something that stains a little better?'

The breakup

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'I've heard it's the new dance craze from America.'

"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

I'm not just jumping on the bed. I'm perfecting bedspring-cusion calasthentics!

'Mum, why are we called seagulls?'

"A man can't fully enjoy golf until he has a family of his own to avoid."

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

Nijinsky Moving Company . Ballet dancers.

Parents happy that student has dropped out of university.

'...And the hotel was an absolute dump!'

I was in a menage a trois...until she ran off with our marriage guide counsellor!

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

'... So then, I dropped out of university and hooked up with this nudist colony.'

'One of you has had his fingers in the till...own up and the other can keep his job.'

Of course everyone likes you. You quit law school.

"The minister is known to do a mic drop after a particularly good sermon."

'No, it's not my diploma. I dropped out. It's my birth certificate.'

'Ooops... blimey, tough course this.'

'Did you really? I flunked out of Bob Jones, too!'

"In an effort to increase productivity, we're replacing you with this lifeless, unthinking dummy."

The End of Innocence

"It's deliciously trashy."

"There's no way in hell this is what it's all about."

'Somehow, I consolidated all my debts into a ten-year sentence!'

I told people who I was going to vote for, but on election day I stayed home and played board games instead. The Milton Bradley effect.

Court House. Dropped out of law school because I couldn't stand all the Latin abbreviations. You needed to get away for "et al"!

"How funny …that notice is printed on bright white paper and yet they insist on calling it a pink slip."

'It's what the computer that replaced me came in.'

Ballet Maid

"I'm sorry it didn't work out, too, but you will be getting a participation trophy."

'This next shot's about 450 years. You're gonna wanna watch out for that huge dogleg on the right.'

'A computer wouldn't have been so bad -- I was replaced by an illegal alien!'