Election Day Ditcher Pillows

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Palin 2012

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'Mmm...Smells like waffles!'

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

"Well, you have to admire his honesty."

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

"We were thinking, since your head speechwriter understands the issues better than you do, speaks better than you do, is smarter and better-looking than you.."

"I Win!!!"

"I feel that I've been given a unique opportunity to speak out on the issues."

Meanwhile, back at the GOP presidential candidate interviews. . .

"Is it possible to put in in a coma until after the election?"

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Well, I don't think we should count on much help from the Russians this election."

'We're saved! -- it's Superdelegate!'

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

"It's going to be a tough four years."

"Hold on a tick! I didn't consent to this. . . Did you consent to this?"

"My net worth is $8.7 billion - so I can't be bought by any interest group!"

Bush's Huge Campaign Fund at Work.

8 years of GOP economics.

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RFK Jr Anti-Vax

'Folks, meet public enemy number 1!'

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

Now THAT was a speech with something for everybody!