Getting A Service Dog Pillows

"I'm a highly skilled service companion specifically trained to help people with disabilities such as visual impairment, PTSD and other disorders."

Blind man's guide dog is looking at art in an art gallery.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'Works every time.'

Love a Mutt

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'They're dog roses!'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Mongrel' 'Bitch's' - His and Hers towels for Dogs.

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

"Well, hello there, Boo Boo. Where's Daddy?"

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

Mountain Rescue for a Dog.

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

Dog Sees Only Food

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'