Getting A New Tv Pillows

'Our new TV is scarier than the old one. It has giants in it.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"They grow up so fast."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Television Readers.

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

'Einsteiners.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Lazy Octopus

'There's nothing on.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

American Idle.

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Love is when you watch television together.

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Big screen TV.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'