Gestation Humorists Pillows

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

'Trust me, the term 'blissfully pregnant' is an oxymoron.'

"Mother and baby are doing well...Both are in a stable condition."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

"Six down, three to go!!"

Fertility Clinic

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Pregnant vs. Old.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

"Oh, oh!!"

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.