Gestation Guru T-Shirts

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"I don't understand. Everyone knows I'm here yet no-one calls in to say hello."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'What's play?'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Is there a vegan option?"

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

Playing Mozart to the baby.

Santa called but you were out!

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Smart card.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

Regifts of the Magi

Valentines Day truck

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."