Germophobe Pillows

"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."

MRSA Superbug fears - 'Good news darling! My operation has been cancelled.'

Doorknob OK?

Cards: Get Well, Cover Your Mouth When You Sneeze.

"Third floor - going up?"

Cold and flu season: Shoot. Now I've gotta go wash my hands.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

"Interesting greeting ritual."

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"No, I haven't changed the recipe. I just started washing the dishes."

The Pandemic Is Coming!

"Trust me, we did the right thing, those cruise ships can be a hot-bed of germs."

The New Normal

"Blood brothers? You mean mix our blood together? Haven't you heard of hepatitis? AIDS? Ebola?"

Wash Your Hands

"Well, whatever it is - it's contagious."

"He's scared he'll miss out on swine flu."

'It's the only way that he would agree to come aboard.'

Transmitting Swine Flu.

'I'll have whatever you serve the health inspector.'

Yellow Fever: What you may catch if your painter sneezes.

'Felt fine before I got here. Must've caught this from someone in the waiting room.'

'Could you ask the dentist if it's okay for me to use my own spitton?'

'Don't mind my husband, he just wants to be 65!'

'Please let me go home. . . I feel completely healthy.'

A Shock Jock

Hand Washing

"For heaven's sake, Harold - would it hurt you to lick you finger!?"

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

"May I suggest cleaning off your phone's screen once in a while?"

"Aw, wash my hands AGAIN? There'll soon be no water left in the sea!"

Wash Your Hands

Do Not Enter: Extreme Puking And Diarrhea Zone

"What took so long? I didn't feel like singing Happy Birthday while washing my hands, so I took a shower."