Germ-conscious Greeter Pillows

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

'Gesundheit.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

"Kemo sabe, I want you to be official greeter at my new casino."

I know 'enjoy the day' is the latest trendy, trite pleasantry, but in this store, we stick with the classic, 'Have a nice day'.

'Don't worry it's safe, the baptismal is filled with hand sanitizer."

Covid Games

Employees must wash hands.

"....But....flu season's over."

"Needs more Purell."

'Good evening, ladies and germs.'

No, you can't approach the bench if you have a cold.

"Ummm, thanks, but I'm good."

'Your prescription is ready. Please don't approach the counter. I'll toss it to you.'

"Kung Flu Fighting."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his and he caught yours."

Knowing the dangers of being a Church Greeter during cold and flu season, Harold stocks up on hand sanitizer.

'It's nice to meet you, without the risk of getting the flu.'

'I don't like touching door handles. . . I had to wait for people to tailgate through every door.'

"I don't shake hands during flu season. Just scan my QR code."

"Turns out hands are like soup. The more you wash the smaller they get."

Property Taxes.

'Look...this place is a health hazard!'

The office is a breeding ground for winter cold and flu germs.

'Yes, but Mum says don't lent it to anyone. Sniff, sniff.'

Two men lifting their hats to each other, one has an Accordion under his hat

"We'd prefer that you wait until people ask before directing them to the weight-loss aisle."

Meet the candidate...VOTE YOMP: 'Forgive me if I don't shake hands- germs, you know!'