Germ Conquerors T-Shirts

'This one is for spending 21 days in quarantine after returning from Africa.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

Crop duster wanted.

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'This is no time to start wondering whether you turned off the oven!

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

Psychology: Module 1 . . . . Attention span.

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

Tough germ.

'I'm waiting for the Government to build an elevator!'

"If you want to do well in your interview, my advice is not to be intimidated."

'Now what are you complaining about? I'm spending more time with you and the kids aren't I?!'

"I just acquired absolute power and you've had it for quite a while now, so tell me... When does the absolute corruption start kicking in?"

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

Cutting onions

'Did I get this right? You fear that there's a hedge fund manager in your cupboard ready to take over your company at the first opportunity?'

The good news is, I'm granting your request for house arrest. The bad news is your wife's to-do list.

'Hey,everybody - Shower time!'

"Call the pest control people! This is getting out of hand!"

'When we take over a company, we take the lot.'

Isn't 'To rule the world' a little too grand in scale?

Commands Respect

"On the plus side we're going to put your head in formaldehyde and auction it for charity."

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

'Diane removes her love beads before resuming takeover negotiations'

Excalibur and Hand Sanitizer