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Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"The Eggsorcist"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

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"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

The leaning tower of Pizza.

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Biliard Enthusiast

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'