Gentle Parenting Guru Gifts

"Use your inside scream."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'What's play?'

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

Playing Mozart to the baby.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

Gangs of New York

A Boy and His Mother

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Go ask your search engine."

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

Husband and Child in Pram

Have you drugged your child today?

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."