Genetic Code Geek T-Shirts

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

A day at the transgenic races

"I've been genetically modified!"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

School. I like solving problems with X's and Y's, so I'll probably go into either math or genetics!

DNA Analysis.

Gene Therapy

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Protoplasm

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

Another Screw-up at the Genetics lab. FLASH! What idiot thought of putting a firefly gene in an elephant?!

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

Preparing for Casual Friday at the Genome Lab

'Darling, we were made for each other.'

'He's got your tattoos.'

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

DNA Xmas.

Evolution disruptor: The selfie stick. The reason why T-Rex's arms never evolved.

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

'You may share 85% of your genetic material with him, but I share 5% tops.'

Single-cellphones...

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

'I might even change my views on genetics research if scientists could genetically engineer supreme court appointees!'