Generational Gap Observers Gifts

"My humour needs bringing up to date. Do you think the New School might have something?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"We added it just for the millenials."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

'They're not reliable.'

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

"I advised my intern that one must pick his battles. He asked me what video game I had in mind."

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

"Please—no technology questions!"