General Practitioners Gifts

Doctors to screen for depression.

Giving GP's the right motivation

"When I said you could tell me anything, I didn't mean that you think I'm losing my hair!"

Overworked GPs.

"I'm afraid it's worse than just a case of measles....the red marker your son used to put on the spots was a permanent marker!"

"Well....THAT�S never happened before"

"It's an occupational hazard. You have laughing gas."

"Hello, Mrs Price! Long time no see."

DHSC to lift all appropriate bureaucracy to free up GPs for coronavirus effort

"If putting it in and taking it out doesn't work, try shaking it all about."

"Basically, you have argued your political views to the point of becoming unhinged."

Government bribing MPs to stay on

GPs demand more support from BMA to counter government spin.

No 1 priority is for GPs to call halt to change.

'Guess my wait!'

'I want you to stop texting and start using the phone. You have thumbitis.'

'And this is our new HR officer in charge of GP moral..'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent 11 years studying medicine when your research online seems to have identified your condition...if you were a Patagonian fruit bat!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Your contents have shifted."

"The first one's just a warning."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"