Gender Sign Humorous Thinker Gifts

The eternal question

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

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'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).

'I'm a Pisces.'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

The Invention of the Tea Light

"You think you have it bad? I look like this and I don't know anything about technology."

"Any chance of some credit?"

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

'People just aren't as committed as they used to be.'

Ralph Waldo Emerson

'Take it for stress. It helps to laugh at yourself.'

The newspaper that psychics read every morning.

"Isn't it amazing! My horoscope said I was going to meet a tall dark stranger..."

'Look, think positively, it's not that bad being a Lab-Rat: It beats living in a sewer most days...'

Lift at Mouse Hole.