Gender Role Humorist Gifts

'I suppose it would be ok as a little runaround for the wife...'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

Always Compatible

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Well, hello there, Boo Boo. Where's Daddy?"

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

The Female Brain and The Other One

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"Of course you're feeling tired - you're in your sub-prime."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'