Gelatin Gourmet T-Shirts

So, what's the secret ingredient to your famous 'Cow Pie' jelly?

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Kitchen Kapers

To do before Saturday...

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Is this still America?'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

The Origins of Everything

Cheese

Holiday Supplies

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"The bagels are better in New York."