Gear Lover Gifts

The New Car

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Haircuts

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

Sport Utility Boot.

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Hey...remember T.V.?

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).