Gay Son Gifts

'It's not the fact you're gay that bothers me son, it's the fact you're so open about it.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Young Frankenstein"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Robot Parts $5

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Good game."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Killer Executive Suits.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Remote control pirate bully

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."