Gatekeeping Guru Gifts

Doorman for the Three Little Pigs

"All we have left is standing room only."

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

But It's So Easy

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

"You're V.P.N. says you're on another planet."

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

Username/Password

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"I have 130 disciples following me on Twitter."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

"They see you when you're sleeping - They know when you're awake..."

"Password. And it must contain over eight characters, upper & lower case letters, some numerals and at least two symbols."

"It's for an upcoming TV documentary I don't want to be seen in."

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"I'm sorry, Derek, but, now that Kelsey has learned how to convert JPEGs into PDFs, we can't justify keeping you on."

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

Heaven Security Checks.

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

Julia Childs combats a growing rabbit population

'Do you have a reservation?'

'I see your office is as secure as your website.'

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

"Hold on—I forgot to stamp your hand."

"Good morning passengers awaiting Flight 3335 to Lisbon. We just want to remind you that if the planes leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it..."

Folsom Prison - A Gated Community