Gatekeeping Guru Gifts

Doorman for the Three Little Pigs

"All we have left is standing room only."

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"I wish you people would just read the blog."

"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."

"You're V.P.N. says you're on another planet."

"Excuse me, it's my reminder to get a life."

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

Username/Password

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"They see you when you're sleeping - They know when you're awake..."

"I'm sorry, Derek, but, now that Kelsey has learned how to convert JPEGs into PDFs, we can't justify keeping you on."

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

Heaven Security Checks.

"Password. And it must contain over eight characters, upper & lower case letters, some numerals and at least two symbols."

'I see your office is as secure as your website.'

'Do you have a reservation?'

"Hold on—I forgot to stamp your hand."

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

"Good morning passengers awaiting Flight 3335 to Lisbon. We just want to remind you that if the planes leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it..."

Folsom Prison - A Gated Community