Gated Community Aficionado T-Shirts

A Pearly-Gated Community.

Cat statues on entrance gate

"He's a guard dog."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

"I locked the key in the trunk."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

Closed Thursdays.

'Happy Town' See the smiley face?

'They're a very close family.'

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"It's not just you, Reverend, we make it clear to everyone, we don't want any trouble up here."

"Local shopping, local eating, and...I married the girl next door."

Garage sale.

The Neighborhood at a Glance

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

Giant Cannon in the Suburbs

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

Sketchy Neighborhood

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Blissful Acres - An Ignorant Community

'I'm bored being a real boy, Gepetto...I want to be a virtual boy.'

2020 vs. 2023

We're off to the Wells' potluck! All the neighbors will be there. Whoop-dee-do. Hey! We're building community. So you don't mind if we do, too? Of course not! We support your good citizenship. Good! 'Cause all the neighborhood kids are coming over here.

'Apparently we're to use the budget that's been cut to encourage the volunteers we haven't got because they've been put on schemes to fill in for services that no longer exist.'

"Sure, I follow the herd- out of a deep respect for the concept of community."

You Are Entering God's Country. A Pearly-Gated Community.

'Sorry, this is the Billionaires club. The Millionaires club is down the street.'

"Announcements about the Youth Club, Senoirs Club, Woman's Club, & Twelve Steps Programs are so long, I'll dispense with my sermon."

'How very Putney!'

"Gated communities are fine, but we just feel safer with a moat."