Gastropub Fiend Mugs

"It's fondue night!"

Emergency Hipster Beard

'Sorry... We don't serve food here.'

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Snake party games

'I've got the bill if it's too small.'

Fast food trap.

Formula One Finish Line.

Vampire doing sit ups in his coffin.

'She's going to six different psychiatrists for her compulsive comparison shopping problem.'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the 'grande' size anymore without a prescription.'

"It's not gravy. Your French Fries fell on the floor."

Old Irascible? Someone call?

Maybe substituting chocolate cookies for poker chips wasn't such a good idea.

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

Decisions...Decisions.

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

'She's definitely had work done.'

'No way, I can't stand country and western.' (Farm Aid Rock festival in Somerset.)

',,,,,and make it snappy'

"I'm a petrol head, doctor, I've got cars on my mind 24/7..."

"Arthur and I both like books with unreliable narrators. The problem is that he only reads nonfiction."

The card room at Bath

'Table for two...'

A Cocoon fat from Junk food.

"Quickly! Call the hair stylist!"

Fridge Pirate

Burger Lure