Gastronomy Guide Pillows

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

La Table

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

View to the Future

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Menu Dating

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"This is our soft opening."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Important Food Groups

Bangers and Mash

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Benihana style of cooking.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

The Main Types of Cheese