Gastronomic Aesthete T-Shirts

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Come dine with me!

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Join me for dinner?

Haute Chinese

Thermidor Dali

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Cheese Pile

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Pass the grey stuff.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".