Gastronomic Aesthete Pillows

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Come dine with me!

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Haute Chinese

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Cheese Pile

Join me for dinner?

Thermidor Dali

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'Pass the grey stuff.'

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"