Gastrologist Pillows

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"Please don't kill me."

"How's the salmon?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

Happy hour.

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"Carpe pizza"

"I'm unable to process this image."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'