Garment Gurus T-Shirts

Inspectors #2 and #3 inspect clothing.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

A women in a shoeshop.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Be creative...!"

Keeping warm.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Dating is so expensive...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Absolutely not!"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Do you like my little black number?'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.