Garden Week Gifts

Award Winning Gardener

Cocktails on the verandah.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Canape?

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"Turn your head and cough."

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

It's A Breeze

Champagne

Getting Rid of the Cure

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

Watering the garden gnome

Thank you to our awesome NHS staff

Sunflowers with Sunglasses.

Grow damn you!

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

Prize vegetables with rude names.

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? The irises clash with the roses! Peonies?! Here? What was I thinking? No! Not aphids already! Psycho gardening disorder.

String Quartet

"Frank, is that you?"

Don't worry. I'll be right there.

Now that, my friend, is a beer garden!

Gardener of the Year.

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

"Breast or wing?" (Phoenix rising from barbecue).

'Higgins, gardening is pretty simple. The roses love champagne, the rhododendrons prefer gin tonic, the birch trees are crazy for single malt and the lawn could kill for a good chardonnay.'

Mrs. Fergensun unfortunately was crushed before getting what would surely have been a prize winning tomato to the county fair.

"Larry's taking a victory lap around the crab grass before putting the mower away for the winter."

House Plant Party