Garden Week Gifts

Award Winning Gardener

Cocktails on the verandah.

Canape?

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"Turn your head and cough."

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Champagne

It's A Breeze

Thank you to our awesome NHS staff

Watering the garden gnome

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

Getting Rid of the Cure

Sunflowers with Sunglasses.

Grow damn you!

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

Prize vegetables with rude names.

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

Gardener of the Year.

String Quartet

Don't worry. I'll be right there.

"Frank, is that you?"

"Breast or wing?" (Phoenix rising from barbecue).

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

House Plant Party

"And what Patio & Garden Outlet has joined together, let no yard sale put asunder."

'Higgins, gardening is pretty simple. The roses love champagne, the rhododendrons prefer gin tonic, the birch trees are crazy for single malt and the lawn could kill for a good chardonnay.'

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

Mrs. Fergensun unfortunately was crushed before getting what would surely have been a prize winning tomato to the county fair.