Garden Phantom Gifts

The Phantom Of The Garden

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Show and Tell.

'Where are you going?'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

"Ohh darling - how lovely..!!"

'I'll never forget the first time we met...when that gardener cut you in half with his spade.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Everything's coming up roses!

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

Stop and Smell the Roses

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Beware of highly intelligent but extremely savage dog.

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

"I can't believe I threw all that away for a Cox's pippin!"

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

'My Dad gave him a parking ticket for standing on his vegetable patch!'

Garden Shop: Growin' and Rarin' to Grow

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

"Should I fix it or call it a water feature?"

'I'm just sayin', with this cute little face and my big fluffy tail, I never really thought of myself as vermin!'

"If this company can make an herbal soda...there's no reason why I can't make and sell my own too!"