Garden Geek T-Shirts

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Garden genomes.

'This corner of the garden's a bit of a subtropical micro-climate actually...'

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

"You've got your foot on my shallots, mate."

Bird Torture.

'So, that know-it-all Harriet Tuppman says...'

Garden Gnome Sales Supervisor

'Mr McGregor's growing genetically modified carrots!'

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"It was my husbands dying wish to be buried in his herb garden."

"You've definitely got water retention..."

"I love technology. I just programmed this smart tree to drop its leaves in the neighbor's yard."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Allotment

Homegrown solutions for a smaller carbon footprint.

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

Disease Management

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Bee flying to another flower.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

Cats and gardens.

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'