Garage Renovations Gifts

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

CLEAR!

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"It's worse than I thought."

"Crap! I forgot to put my car in the garage again!"

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

"Oh...that's not good."

Mad Cyclist Disease, the latest problem to plague cyclists.

"Yeah, I'm just here for winter break. I'm staying with my aunt Maria. She lives down the block."

'Mac works on cars strictly for his own amusement.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

"They don't build them like this any more. Heck, why would they?"

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

"I want you to call that idiot you hired to build our garage...he made it too small for our car!"

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

'When I ask what our inventory is 'What ever' is not an acceptable answer.'

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

Mechanics price list.

'It's up for adoption. Just pay to have it fixed.'

Jump-starting Frankenstein's monster