Gamers Gifts

'What do you want to be when you grow up, Dad?'

Where's my nephew, Rudy? Haven't seen him in weeks. He just texted me a minute ago. He said "the elf army let us go. I ran into my old buddy. Russian contact arranged boat to motherland … Please feed all my Sims." If that's not his idea of guy-code for "don't bother me, I'm getting lucky," he's probably had a stroke or something. Oh no, then it had to be a stroke!

"I'll be back in an hour, email me if there's a problem text me if it's a big problem, call me if it's an emergency."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

Rage.

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

The height of fashion in 1796

Evolution.

"And this is our media room."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Mac OS 20

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

Piracy on a boating lake

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

Mixed Doubles.

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

Homo Gamus

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Some card-game puns

'How about a game of cards?'