Gamer's Paradox Pillows

'You wanted wireless video gaming? You got it. Now, go outside and play.'

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

Solitaire card shark.

"I'm sorry son, I don't know how to answer whether today is opposite day or not."

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Wow! It's like I'm in a real field with cows and everything!

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

"I move for less transparency."

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

Fake ecologist

"We suck at this."

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

The Friendly Loan Company

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

"Is that your beeper or my beeper?"

Wanderer dropping phone above the sea of fog

Clancy: Good Idea

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

'This is the most realistic sports game ever! It has all the players and coaches and even a bail bondsman to get them out of jail.'

'I know one never knows, but I don't know how one knows that.'

Fundamentalist crackpot: 'Condemn thy neighbor to hell!'

Early one morning The Grim and The Happy Reaper pay Alice a visit.

Smoking in the Paradise.

"Surely a total abstainer would abstain from abstention?"