Game Day Strategist T-Shirts

'Would you believe we forgot to put anything in the contract about him actually playing football?'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'The fans are heading for the exits! Quick, Hughes! Get out there and start a brawl!'

Coronavirus as Football's Grave

"Make up your mind - it's me or football!!"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

'We've got to stop meeting like this.'

'Here's a pile of cash to make a first down. Coach says there's another pile of cash if we score.'

'Now, let's just say the fan in Row C, Seat 4, is on your case. You just punch the coordinates into the computer...'

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with sports.'

Disagreeing with the ref's decision.

American Footballer catching money

"Shouldn't you be writing some of this down?"

The baseball players psychiatrist.

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"She's a little overworked but, depending on what happens next Sunday, I'll probably jump back on."

'Dang! We make a couple of stupid errors, and here come the boo birds.'

STRIP Hambone: Watching the football on his computer

"Well, folks, it looks as if Ole Mich is really getting trounced by those Reds.

"It's rigged. They have an umpire."

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

"Gotta go."

Church for sports worshipers.

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

Go team!

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)