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The referee...

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

Trial by Media

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Difference of Opinion

Meet the Enemy

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'There's nothing on.'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

"True crime meets reality TV"

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."