
Just so you know, Bob, I don't date guys who play games. Sooo, the ball's in my court
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Just so you know, Bob, I don't date guys who play games. Sooo, the ball's in my court
Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance
Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period
"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."
'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'
'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'
"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"
Sawdust.
'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'
"Shouldn't you be studying?
'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'
The Procrastinatorium.
'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'
"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."
"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."
'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'
"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."
" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."
I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.
"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."
'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'
"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"
"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."
"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."
'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'
'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'
'How To Say No To Sales People'.
"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."
"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."
Good parenting.
'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'
"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."
"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."
'Johnny Wilmot experiences the Grand Canyon'
How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'
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