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When the revolution comes, umpires will rule baseball.

Trial by Media

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"I like to keep things simple."

Coming to a consensus.

Continental marshal

Do you realise you're talking to the man with the biggest office, the longest desk and the plushiest carpet?

The boss is always right.

"To become a department manager you've got to radiate authority and self-confidence! Authority! Self-confidence!!! Got me??!"

Bureau of Disappearing Civil Liberties

'We've just invented the Frisbee.'

"We're very worried that John's homework has started to interfere with his computer gaming."

'Your mum and I are thinking about giving your power of attorney...' - 'Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich!' - '...and now, strangely, I'm having second thoughts.'

Bill's new strap-on steer horns helped give him more clout at the office.

"It's only a game."

'There's a car in my parking spot! Torch it!'

'He's really OK, except for the power trips.'

"Ya gotta obey the rules otherwise there's anarchy!"

'We could make up a new game.'

'Hey! Who stole my stamp of grudging approval?'

Power: 'It's mine and you can't have it.'

Man chops down palm tree to make coconut shy.

'Wait a minute -- you did all this stuff in a VIDEO GAME?'

Football will be penalised...

Coronavirus: "Not so fast!"

'You're not gonna like the answer....'

'Honey, why do you always put me int he rear seat of you patrol car when you give me a lift home?'

Plumbing supplies.

'I can't prescribe anything for his midlife crisis but I know a high school principal who'll scare him out of it.'

"It's the new Stones album."