Gambling Regulator Gifts

"I can't see this gambling commission working"

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Little league world series of poker.

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Bribes for Jabs

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"Stag poker"

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Tempest in a Teapot

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Short-lived Neanderthal Games: Slap The Sleeping Dinosaur

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

Slug roulette

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'