Gambling Regulator T-Shirts

"I can't see this gambling commission working"

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

Little league world series of poker.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Stag poker"

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Slug roulette

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'