Galaxy Giggles Gifts

'It says here on your application that you were fired from your receptionist position for refusing to answer phones...well, thanks for applying! Bye now!'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Clown God

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Nethead strip: Speak binary

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

Black Hole Corks

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Whoops!'

"Joe, you've got to stop singing 'Rocket Man.' Okay, how about 'Ground control to Major Tom'?"

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

The Big A** Theory

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"

"It's boring up here. The moon just has no atmosphere."

"Jacoby found a Starbucks."