Galactic Tourist T-Shirts

Bezos in space

"You are here"

You are here!

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

Blue Origin

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

Parking meter on the moon.

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

"Last Year we went to Peoria."

UFO and snowman

It says, 'Billions of Babies on Board.'

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

Celestial Navigation

"Are we there yet?"

"We came to your planet because there are just not enough pickleball courts on our planet."

"How can you claim to offer directions if you don't know the best way to Epsilon Delta VII?"

"I don’t know why we bother traveling—they just missed the entire Milky Way."

Moon Souvenirs

"Man, they can't do anything right. Half the countries are underdeveloped. The other half are overdeveloped."

Commercial space travel is expensive.

UFO

'It's nothing personal, Donald; I just need more space.'

'We come in peace, I tell you!'

Vacation on the Moon.

"... Now, turn left and go in a straight line for 60 trillion miles."

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."