Gag Glutton Mugs

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"Carpe pizza"

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'YAY! PATE!'

"I'm in for observation."

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

The Fart Side

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

'Methane Happens.'

My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler. For one show.

How's the writer's block?

"Apparently, this is his 'great lost masterpiece...'"

"I have four stomachs and one of them always seems to be hungry.''

'No thanks - When I finish this drink I'm going straight to hell.'

"Surprise!"

'Tell me more about this strange man...'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Inventor of the First Ceiling Fan: 'Almost There.'

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat