Gadget Gospel Follower Pillows

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Is this the new input device?'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"C'mon people! All for me and me for me!"

Fur Baby

Drive-thru Church

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

"...And forgive the congregation member who left their cell phone on and it rang during the sermon!"

End of world nigh!!!

"I'm afraid he's not much fun in the evenings. He's solar powered."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"They've already had two upgrades while we've been standing in line."

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Consumer care and technologies

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

Welcome to Computer Villa. Can I help you? Counseling services. For years, Apple and Google were allies going up against Microsoft. I rooted for them against the evil empire from Redmond. Everything felt right. But then Google and Apple started competing - first in the phone business, then in music and mobile search! Get in the line with the others. Others? I can't take the tension. It's like mommy versus daddy. Children of divorced high-tech partners. Did I cause this? Is it my fault? Why don't

"I like you and all, but I normally only date guys that stare down at their cell phones."

'How can you call yourself a workaholic if you don't even have a Blackberry Thumb?'

'What do you mean 'IamThePope.com' is already taken?!? By who!?!'

'Hey! That's new - paternity leave!'

"I don't mind them sending me to my room, but then they shut down my wifi."

"You won't believe it, babe. This guy on tech support actually seems to give a s**t."