Future Son-in-law T-Shirts

'It's strange that you should ask for my daughter's hand. Only this morning she told me she wants to give you the elbow.'

'Are you sure you want to marry my daughter? -- I can make you a much better deal on my WIFE.'

'I'm here to request your daughter's hand in marriage, sir, and ten bucks for the marriage license.'

"So you want to marry my daughter...can you ever feed a family, young man?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Feel free to take notes."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'Come and get it!'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

First Steps

Stockwell's day

Bishops Snooker

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"A little required reading before your G7 summit."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'